As a transformation coach, one of my hardest battles is shutting my mouth (sometimes). I’m not talking about eating.
I’m talking about my clients. Potential clients. Blog visitors.
So many people eager for INFORMATION. So many people eager to hear about TRANSFORMATION. They desperately want to connect the dots. They think they have the faith. But they have a hard time walking the walk to the finish line.
We’ve been taught it’s a sprint, after all.
Who wants to walk through a race, anyway?
I had a VERY frustrating conversation with a client today who has now been with me for a few years. After Covid cancelled most of my in-studio clients, she and I had some space to regroup.
I made the horrible mistake of thinking that a pandemic would prioritize health. Make people want to get stronger.
And yet, here i was – today- having the same conversation.
Client: “Did you see how fat i got?”
Me: (skin crawls). “no, hadn’t noticed.” (and maybe I had, but I don’t see people as fat or skinny, just willing or unwilling, open or closed)
Client: “I have to lose 10 pounds.”
Me: “You need to lose inches and tighten up.”
Client “I just want your body. i weigh xx”
And I note here that she and I are the same exact weight.
So, whats the missing link?
She doesn’t want to CHANGE. She wants a result without changing how she sees that goal. When you think about LOSING anything, your mind goes into overdrive trying to keep it exactly as it was. It’s a survival instinct.
It strangles your intuition…that little voice that tells you “it’s time to try something different”.
It’s one of the reasons that I custom write my client transformations…
To figure out what scares them and change how they face it.
To elevate their “glass ceiling”- in life, in relationships, at work, at home.
I often tell the story of one of my favorite clients. I’ll call her “Jane” . Jane is a 62 year old health care worker. We worked together for a while when I was just a “trainer”. I worked her through jumping jacks and lunges and chest presses and spin classes and drills and weights. We even ran a few races together, which we thought was AMAZING.
But little did we know.
About a year ago, she went through some really tough times. The death of a parent. Without going into much detail, people started mistreating her, betraying her….. all when her dad died! I knew she needed a little extra something, just to being her to the next level.
She walked in on a Monday and I’ll never forget her face when i dragged out my huge 20 inch plyo box.
“Are you nuts?” Her eyes were as wide as saucers as she (almost) screamed at me.
I just smiled.
“Time to level up.” I encouraged.
It took her about 20 minutes, but I recorded her first ever box jump. Her first ever leap of faith.
One small step for man. One giant step for Jane’s heart. Jane’s confidence. Jane’s self worth.
The second you become afraid is the second you decide that you’re not worthy.
You buy into the thought that you have to hate yourself to love yourself. You have to torture yourself to find happiness.
And in that split second, you believe that maybe you did something wrong when your dad died and that people should talk about you and make you feel bad.
Our minds do have the power to absolutely make us crazy. But our bodies have the power to build strength and endurance. And when we can marry those two together -AND sprinkle them with intuition- we create new opportuntity.
We start to look at possible failure as a means to imminent success.
And we seek out opportunity rather than opinion.
We seek current truth instead of old ideology.